No, not that one. I'm talking about the things that you can't get away from. The things that no matter how much you try to distract yourself or calm yourself down are still there at the end of the day. The ones that play on a loop and are loudest when you're trying to sleep.

Happy blogiversary dear readers!

I tweeted this a year ago. I've already talked a little bit in my last post about how things can change in the blink of an eye... how all it takes is for 1 person to say "hey I got you," but I wanted to talk about it a little more.

**Trigger warning: suicide** The first time I took a handful of pills was August '98. I was at camp and we were all getting ready for the end of summer dance. I had been talking to a friend on the swings and something in my brain said, "You should go take some pills," and I did. I'll never know the real reason behind why I did it. Maybe I was curious, maybe I really wanted to die. So many things have happened since that night that it's hard to remember.

After only 2.5 months of writing, my book is done. All chapters are edited and posted and can be found right here. I'm still amazed I was able to do it, but I did... there's the proof. When I started writing it I just felt like it had to be written. I would lay down at night and words just started flying through my head. I couldn't sleep until things were written down. The story was screaming at me to be told.